Yummyummyummy

I have cats. Two cats. Already, a lot of you are probably saying, "Fuck this guy. He likes cats? Fuck cats. I hate cats. Fuck this blog. I don't need to read a blog about fucking cats," to which I could respond, "Fuck me? Fuck you. Just because you don't like cats doesn't mean I can't like cats. Go read somebody else's fucking blog if someone having cats draws the line of whether a fucking blog is worth reading or not." But I won't say that, because that is way to much of my energy to be wasted on negativity, and I wouldn't want to give any more reason, beyond having cats (and talking about them), to deter anyone from reading further. Because I really do appreciate you reading. But I understand if I have crossed a line and you don't want to talk to me anymore. Hopefully we won't have one of those awkward run-ins at the store, or while out to eat, where we both pretend like we didn't see each other, but it's obvious that we did because we were only one table apart in a back section of the restaurant, where there weren't any other parties seated, and if we are ever, somehow, forced into conversation again at a mutual friend's house for their birthday or something, we both just play stupid and act like we're oblivious to the fact that it ever happened. But anyways, for those of you still with me, I was discussing my cats. I really only wanted to say one thing about having cats. Note, I said cats, plural. Yes, it's great that they greet me when I get home, keep my head warm when I sleep, and obligate me to spend a portion of my paychecks on their food, litter, toys, vet bills, licensing, lint rollers, etc. but that's not what this is about. I simply wanted to say how much I appreciate when they clean up after one another. For those of you who also have two cats, or really, I suppose it could potentially be any combination of two pets and/or kids (there, all you people who hate cats but love dogs or something, I'm including you too), I hope you have found yourselves as lucky and grateful as I am. It's not even that they clean the litter box or vacuum their own hair or anything. That would be expecting way to much from such little animals who don't even have thumbs to hold the vacuum handle, or tie a garbage bag closed, or open and pour the new bag of litter into the pan, yet they still do what they can. Sometimes; when one of my cats gets too excited about their dinner, of the same dry cat food, night after night, and eats too fast; or decides immediately after eating that one of those toy mice has just been pissing her off all day, and it's time for it to die, so she viciously attacks on a full belly; or even when one simply might not be feeling well and thinks maybe some food in her stomach could help; they can't help but retch up their partially digested dinner (most always on the floor, another reason to be appreciative). But this is where I am most appreciative. As soon as my other cat, the one that is not in the middle of tossing her cookies, hears the delightful sounds of the other getting sick, she comes running as fast as she can to wait patiently for the one with the upset tummy to finish. Once regurgitation ceases, and the pile or roll of lumpy chyme and cat food is left, it's time for cleanup. My cats love me so much, and know how much I truly hate cleaning up vomit, that they have made it a point to always clean it up before I have to, often before I even have to look at it or even know it happened. It truly is a thoughtful thing they do.